Happy and Good Life Tips

Massage Your Way To Wellness

2011-09-19T22:11:00.000-07:00

by Ruzzen at Thumbtack Spotlight | September 20, 2011 at 12:04 am

Experts say that up to 90% of all diseases are related to stress. Our body compensates to any form of stressor and reacts as strongly as a life-or-death situation. It does not determine what type of danger we are facing.

Stress upsurges the activity of our Sympathetic Nervous System which then effluxes stress hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine. It increases blood pressure, speeds up aging and suppresses the immune system which results in spasmodic pains, heart attacks, stroke, susceptibility to infections, certain cancers, ulcerative colitis, atopic dermatitis, fatigue, infertility, dizziness, palpitations, difficulty in breathing, depression, insomnia, amenorrhea, heart diseases and more.

A relaxing massage therapy is the best antidote for stress. It aids relaxation, reduces muscle spasms, improves circulation and movement of lymph fluids, nourishes the largest organ of our body—skin, relieves headache, supports healing, boosts energy and speeds up recovery. Clinical studies have shown the beneficial effects of bodywork in treating people with autism, ADHD, eczema, bulimia, diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.

There are over two hundred types of massage techniques. The most common are Swedish, hot stone, Shiatsu, Thai, reflexology and sports massage, each one tailored to specific needs.

Swedish massage is thought to be effective in reducing muscular pains. It is attained with the use of a lubricating oil or lotion. The practitioner performs long gliding strokes, petrissage, percussion-like tapping, stretching and firm kneading. Heated smooth, basalt stones that are rich in iron are placed on the body’s key points during a hot stone massage. This improves circulation, relaxes the muscles and calms the nervous system.

In Shiatsu massage the therapist applies acupressure techniques using thumbs, hands, elbows and knees, while Thai bodywork emphasizes stretching, deep kneading and yoga-like positions.

During a reflexology massage, practitioners apply pressure to reflex areas of the hands and feet that corresponds to specific glands, organs and other parts of the body and usually lasts 45 to 60 minutes. Sports massage boosts athlete’s peak performance by releasing muscle tension, drains swelling, relieves fatigue and promotes flexibility.

It’s time to listen to your body and fight the stress out of your incredibly nervy life. Don’t allow a bundle of jitters to take over your everyday activities, calm your senses and bring your nervous system back into equilibrium with a healing touch.

You are just a click away from finding the right massage therapist. Search at Thumbtack for service providers who offer quality massage therapy.

9 ways to keep your marriage healthy at any age

2010-12-17T02:37:00.000-08:00

By Kate Stinchfield via Shine

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential relationship wreckers. It’s a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the sunset, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those geriatric lovebirds know that you don’t?

Well, the truth is that even in so-called happy marriages, both partners probably fantasize some of the time—or even much of the time—about throwing in the towel. A Woman’s Day and AOL Living poll found that a shocking 72% of women surveyed have considered leaving their husbands at some point. But despite the occasional rocky patch, 71% expected to be with their husbands for the rest of their lives. So how do you make it to the finish line with your relationship intact?

Each decade will have its own drama, be it child-rearing, layoffs, second careers, and middle-aged angst, along with a big helping of the in-sickness-and-in-health stuff. Here’s how to have a healthy relationship every step of the way.

1. Watch your waistline
Now that you’re married, you can finally relax and skip the gym, right? Wrong. Wedded couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can spell trouble in terms of sexual attraction and general health. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 37% if your spouse becomes obese. So unless you want “till death do us part” to include chronic health issues like heart disease and diabetes, it’s important to establish healthy eating habits early on. But warding off weight gain isn’t as simple as whipping up a healthy meal together. Eating with anyone—from your spouse to coworker—can cause you to consume 33% more than you would solo.

Being aware of the potential fatty pitfalls of marital bliss may be enough to keep your portion sizes in check. Spend couple time checking out local farmers' markets on the weekends in an effort to consumer fresher, low-calorie fare. Or schedule an exercise date to work off some of your hearty, homemade dinners.

2. Have a financial plan
Nearly 40% of married people admit to lying to their spouse about a purchase, according to a 2004 poll, and money woes can quickly send your marriage south. In fact, money is the number-one reason couples fight, and relationships tend to suffer during poor economies. You should discuss and agree upon some hard financial ground rules, preferably before you tie the knot.

Don’t fret if you’re a spendthrift and your partner pinches pennies. “It’s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money, “ says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. “But financial issues are best to resolve early on. You want to decide who is going to pay the bills, how much discretionary spending is reasonable, and how you’re going to keep track of it all.”

3. Figure out your family rules
Couples spend the first 5 to 10 years of their marriage butting heads over how their family should work, says Dr. Robbins. “People often don’t realize that they come into a marriage with an idea of how a family works based on their own family—whether they liked them or not,” he adds. You can end up fighting over something as trivial as how you should hang your toilet paper, but those little issues can add up to big problems, particularly if children enter the picture. A 2004 study found that how a couple manages parenting responsibilities when the child is an infant is associated with the quality of their marriage two-and-a-half years later.

You and your partner may have vastly different ideas about how a child should be cared for and what constitutes family together time. If one of you is working, should the other partner get up with the baby at night, or should you take turns? Is it important for you to sit down to dinner as a family every night? “You need to figure out how you can live together happily while each maintaining your own sense of self,” says Dr. Robbins.

4. Make sex a priority—but not a chore
While you should make sex a priority, you shouldn’t pencil it in on your planner. If you schedule sex, it becomes a responsibility—just like taking out the trash, says Andrew Goldstein, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, in Baltimore, and the coauthor of Reclaiming Desire. The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week. And a recent eight-year study found that 90% of couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child. Yikes!

But it doesn’t matter whether you’re having sex five times a week or five times a year—as long as both of you are happy, says Dr. Goldstein. In fact, a 2008 study found that couples who reported any kind of marital intimacy—everything from holding hands to sex—exhibited lower levels of a hormone produced by stress.

5. Be flexible
Whatever financial and household arrangements you agreed to in your 20s or 30s, chances are they’re going to change at some point in your marriage. Men account for 82% of recent job losses during this recession, meaning couples are making some hard choices when it comes to both their careers and their checking accounts.

If the traditional breadwinner is laid off, the stay-at-home parent may need to head back into the workforce. Conversely, if you become a stay-at-home partner—due to choice or circumstance—expect to do more of the shopping, cleaning, and other chores that make a household run smoothly. A recent analysis of government data found that employed women spend significantly more time on child care and housework than employed men—and unemployed men.

Having an open discussion of how household duties need to change can help couples weather some tough transitions. “Everyone has a role within the relationship and as long as there’s a greater good, it’s not a question about whether it’s his money or her money,” says Dr. Goldstein. “It’s their money. Your paycheck and your career are not the value of your worth.”
6. Stay active as you age
If you’re like most American couples, you don’t exercise or you stopped regularly exercising when you had children. Try to find new ways to stay active as a couple, whether it’s hitting the tennis courts or hiking trails. A 1995 study found that couples who work out together are more likely to stick with an exercise program. And some experts suggest that couples who exercise more frequently tend to have better sex lives.

Pick up a life sport that you can enjoy together for decades to come, like golf, tennis, or hiking. You don’t need to be seriously sweating to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Experts say that moderate exercise is enough to help stave off heart diseaseand other ailments.

7. Gab (a little) to your friend
In the last decade, researchers have noted a rise in “gray divorce,” or couples over 50 who are calling it quits. While it’s tempting—and often prudent—to keep couple conversations behind closed doors, you may actually benefit from blabbing to a close friend.
“It’s often helpful to talk to couple friends when these big issues come up,” says Dr. Robbins. “Many couples live very privately and discuss these issues with the shades down, but relationship issues like this can often benefit from hearing how people that you trust dealt with a similar situation.” Whether it’s hearing how a friend dealt with her husband’s infidelity or other big hurdles, a little empathy can put things in perspective. But keep your gabbing under control. “Clearly it’s never a good idea to say anything—even to a close friend—that you wouldn’t want repeated back to your spouse in five years,” warns Dr. Goldstein.

8. Rediscover each other as a couple, sans kids
Forget empty nest syndrome—a 2008 study found that marital satisfaction actually improves once children leave home. Female participants reported spending equal amounts of time with their partners both while their children lived at home and after, but they noted that the quality of that together time was better once the kids were out of the picture. “Suddenly the tyranny of the children controlling the household is relieved,” says Dr. Robbins. “You don’t have to have dinner at 6, you don’t have to spend Saturdays at the soccer field, and you don’t have to be so responsible all the time.” Use this newfound freedom to bend the rules a bit and rediscover what you love about each other.

But if marital problems have already been bubbling, an empty nest can reveal serious tension. “All of a sudden the noise is gone,” says Dr. Robbins. “If you didn’t have much to talk about, it suddenly becomes more apparent once the kids are gone.”

9. Be a conscious caregiver
In the event of a serious illness, spouses who assume the role of caregiver often develop a sense of “caregiver burden” and may become ill themselves. So it’s vital that both spouses ask for help when they need it. Getting out to see friends and socialize is particularly important for caregivers. And realize that you both have limitations.

“The spouse who needs help typically feels guilty and frustrated. The spouse who has to help feels controlled by it,” says Dr. Robbins. “While you can’t fix those issues, you at least need to be open about them.”

Dealing with Stressful Situations

2010-03-24T17:09:00.000-07:00

Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

 Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.

 Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.

 Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.

 Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.

 Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Stress management strategy #2: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

 Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.

 Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.

 Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.

 Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.

Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

 Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

 Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

 Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”

 Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Stress management strategy #4: Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

 Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

 Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.

 Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.

 Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

 Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.

 Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

 Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

 Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Stress management strategy #6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.

 Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.

 Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.

 Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.

 Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

 Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

More Tips: Adjusting Your Attitude
How you think can have a profound affect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.

Source: National Victim Assistance Academy, U.S. Department of Justice

Healthy ways to relax and recharge
1. Go for a walk.
2. Spend time in nature.
3. Call a good friend.
4. Sweat out tension with a good workout.
5. Write in your journal.
6. Take a long bath.
7. Light scented candles
8. Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
9. Play with a pet.
10. Work in your garden.
11. Get a massage.
12. Get a foot treatment.
13. Curl up with a good book.
14. Listen to music.
15. Watch a comedy.

Source: Helpguide.org

The 30 Most Satisfying Simple Pleasures Life Has to Offer

2008-08-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

By Marc and Angel Hack Life

They say the best things in life are free. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the list below proves that statement to be true. Life is filled with simple pleasures, the little satisfying effects you never really anticipate, but always take great pleasure in. They are the gifts of life that we each subconsciously celebrate in our own unique way.

Here are 30 of the most satisfying simple pleasures life has to offer:

1. Sleeping In on a Rainy Day – As the rain beats lightly against the window, you nestle your head deeper into your pillow. The sound is soothing and your bed feels like a sanctuary. There is no place you would rather be.

2. Finding Money You Didn’t Know You Had – You reach into your pocket and find a $20 bill from the last time you wore these jeans. You aren’t rich, but you are richer than you were a second earlier.

3. Making Brief Eye Contact with Someone of the Opposite Sex – You pass her on the street or in the subway. She glances up at you momentarily, making direct eye contact in a way that seems to communicate a subtle curiosity. For a split second it makes you think… and then it’s gone.

4. Skinny Dipping – There is something mysteriously liberating about being naked in a body of water. You are naked, but it feels natural, a sense of unrefined freedom.

5. Receiving a Real Letter or Package via Snail Mail – E-mail has become the primary source of written communication. Most snail mail these days is junk mail. When you check the mail and find a real letter or package from someone you know, excitement overtakes you as you tear into this rare gift.

6. Making the Yellow Light - It’s one of the most common simple pleasures, the act of beating the pack. As you blaze through the yellow light you glance in your rearview to see all the cars behind you stopping at the red light. Yes! You made it!

7. Telling a Funny or Interesting, True Story - One of the most enticing roles you lead in life is that of the storyteller. You love to share stories, especially those that will captivate your audience with deep curiosity and humor. There are few things more satisfying than telling a true story that others enjoy listening to.

8. Seeing a Friend Stumble Over Himself – As you walk across the street with your friend, he fails to accurately address the curb on the other side. He trips and stumbles around momentarily before regaining his footing, then swiftly attempts to play it off like nothing happened. This can be a hilarious sight if the moment is right.

9. Hearing the Right Song at the Right Moment - It doesn’t matter what the setting is, hearing the right song for that moment is one of those simple pleasures in life that instantly lifts your spirits. You could be driving home from work, hanging out at a bar with friends, or jogging. When the right song rattles your ear drums the entire meaning of life seems crystal clear.

10. The First Sip of a Beverage When You’re Thirsty – You just finished mowing the lawn or taking a long jog. The only thing on your mind is an ice-cold glass of water. When you are really, really thirsty, that first sip of any liquid beverage is sheer bliss.

11. Catching a Glimpse of Bare Skin on the Opposite Sex – For guys, it’s when the waitress bends over a little too far. For girls it’s seeing that buff guy in a Speedo. Either way, when you see a bit more skin than you were expecting on the opposite sex, you can’t help but to smirk on the inside.

12. Saying the Same Thing Simultaneously – There is a moment of silence. Then all of the sudden you and your friend blurt out the same exact set of words simultaneously. This rare occurrence is something to smile about.

13. The Pull-Through Parking Spot – You pull into a parking spot and are delighted to see the availability of the parking spot immediately in front of you. You pull through to the spot in front so that when you return to the car you can drive forward out of the parking spot. Why? Because driving backwards is a pain in the butt.

14. Realizing You Have More Time to Sleep – Something abruptly awakens you and you think it’s time to get up. Then you squint over at your alarm clock and realize you still have 2 more hours to sleep. A warm euphoric feeling shoots though your body as you glide gracefully back to your dreams.

15. People Watching – Sitting there on your bench you can see people in every direction. Tall people, small people, thin and plump. Blond, brunette, and redhead alike. Each of them has a different stride and a unique expression. As you drift from body to body you are mesmerized by what you see.

16. Putting On Clothes Straight from the Dryer – As soon as the dryer buzzes, you pull out your clothes and put them on. They feel soothingly warm on your skin and emit a fresh-scented aroma into the air. A sentiment of ease comes over you as you head out to conquer the day.

17. A Familiar Smell – You just pulled into your parent’s driveway and opened the car door. You haven’t been home in a long while. You smell familiarity in the air, the scent of a large pine tree in the neighbor’s yard. As you head through the front door, more familiar smells consume your senses. Gosh, it feels good to be home…

18. The Feeling You Get When Your Idea Works – You have been struggling to resolve a complex problem all day and you just can’t seem to get it right. Filled with frustration, you decide to exercise one last idea before calling it a night. You’ve had many ideas before that failed miserably… but this time it works.

19. Fresh, Clean Bed Sheets – You yank at the corner of the bedspread to create just enough space to slide your body under the freshly cleaned sheets. The sheets feel cool to the touch. Everything seems so clean, like nobody has ever slept in this bed before.

20. A Beautiful View – As the car veers around the side of the mountain you gaze out the passenger window. It’s a clear, sunny day and you can see the entire valley below filled with wild flowers and bright green vegetation. The scenery reminds you of something you once saw in National Geographic. But here it is live, right before your eyes.

21. Reminiscing About Old Times with Your Closest Friends – Pink Floyd once said “the memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime”. There is no simple pleasure more satisfying than recounting the greatest moments of your life with your closest friends who lived these moments alongside you.

22. Receiving an Unexpected Compliment – It’s been an average day. Nothing really great has happened, but nothing terrible occurred either. This monotonous day has put you in a dreary mood. Unexpectedly, an older, attractive lady taps you on the shoulder, calls you “handsome” and says she loves your shirt. The day just got a whole lot better.

23. Having a Good Laugh – Laughter is the greatest cure of all. Life is extraordinary in the moments when you are laughing so hard you can barely breathe. These moments of deep laughter are divine in the sense that they cleanse your mood and set your mind on a positive track.

24. The Feeling After a Healthy Workout - It’s a giddy feeling of self accomplishment; the one true activity that actually makes you feel better and look better simultaneously. When you walk out the front door of the gym you are on top of the world.

25. The Celebration in the Instant Something Makes Sense – Even now that it has explained to you for the third time, you just don’t understand how it works. Everyone else seems to understand but you. Then out of the blue the dots connect in your mind. You finally get it, and it feels great!

26. Relaxing Outdoors on a Sunny Day – As you relax sprawled out in a lawn chair, the sun warms your skin and a light breeze keeps the temperature comfortable. Birds are chirping merrily in the trees behind you. You are at complete peace with the environment.

27. Holding Hands with Someone You Love – Every time she grabs your hand you are overcome with an awareness of how much she means to you. Holding hands is sensual and physically intimate, yet subtle. There are few people you allow to hold your hand, so when it happens you can be sure that the moment is special.

28. Playing in the Water – Water marvels people of all ages. From jumping in puddles as a child, to doing cannon balls in the pool as an adolescent, to enjoying a cocktail in the Jacuzzi as an adult… water is enjoyable.

29. Making Someone Smile – You notice that your colleague has been under a great deal of stress with meeting a deadline, so you take it upon yourself to complete one of her indirect responsibilities for her. As soon as she realizes what you did, she comes into your office with a big smile on her face. “Thank you”, she says. You just hit two birds with one stone, because making her smile just made your day.

30. Finishing What You Started – You just finished up a big project you’ve been working on for the last few months, or maybe you just finished your first marathon… Either way, you finalized what you set out to accomplish. The feeling of self accomplishment you get when you finish what you started is by far one of the most rewarding simple pleasures life has to offer.

A comprehensive list of life’s simple pleasures would be quite extensive. My list represents those which are most satisfying to a sample of people in and around my life. With a few sporadic exceptions, I believe these simple pleasures hold universal appeal.

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Words of Advice

2008-07-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

When somebody does something wrong to you and it really drove you freakin' mad, don't do the same! Instead, kill them with kindness... 'coz guilty feelings are always the nastiest revenge...

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"A duck in the pond is calm and careless, but what you don't see under the water is the struggling and stressed feet."

Lesson: What you see is not always what it seems. Let us know how to transcend in life. We could be like ducks; there's grace under pressure. :)

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Don't ever let yourself get so busy that you miss those little but important extras in life:

* the beauty of a day
* the smile of a friend
* the serenity of a quiet moment alone

For it is often life's smallest pleasures and gentlest joys that make the biggest and most lasting difference...

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Sometimes we put too much passion on the biggest dreams and priorities in life that we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things. We search so much for the right choices, for the right person, for the right paths to walk through, for the right time, and for the right reasons.

But life isn't about searching for the things that can be found. It is about letting the unexpected happen and finding things you never searched for...

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Silence doesn't always mean yes; it may also mean no but it's better left unsaid.
Anger doesn't always mean hatred; it could just be a means of coping up.
Laughter doesn't always mean happiness; sometimes it's just a mask.
Tears don't always mean sorrow; it may also be an outlet of joy.
Staying away doesn't always mean it's the end; it may also mean the best beginning.
And though life is so complicated, it's always beautiful. So live it well.

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There is tremendous happiness in making others happy despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Remember, today is a gift, that is why it's called the present.

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You'll never find anybody that achieves great success in life without a give up story. Nothing comes free and there will come a time when you will and that you, too, will have to give up something good if you want something better.

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Destiny belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams and have the courage to pursue it. So don't stop when you're tired; stop when you're done.

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Looking at pictures sometimes makes our heart ache because they give us a glimpse of what it used to be. It's sad to think that what we see on the pictures could only be something that would never happen again. Seeing faces would only tell us that we used to have that smile with those people... but when we think of it, only time can tell if we'll ever cross paths again...

Cherish who you are with at the time... because what you have right now may only be for a moment...

(merl: This is very true...)

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To live a soulful life is to share yourself with those you love. Smile each day for those you love. Let them know by the brightness of your face that you are happy they're in your life. Touch each day of those you love. Hold them close, even how briefly. The human touch is one of the most comforting things in our world... and one of the most reassuring...

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Live with no excuses and love with no regrets. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. :)

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No one's perfect. Everybody commits mistake, whether we like it or not. Just always remember, a mistake only becomes a mistake when you never learn from it! And that in this life, we never run out of choices...

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Merl's Note:

My heartfelt thanks to Bianca, Diadem and Mai for forwarding me the above messages... Visit Txt/SMS Collection for more Text of Advice about realities in life and life in general. :)

Closing Cycles

2008-03-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

By Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

###

Chinese Reading (good for the heart)

2008-03-03T19:04:00.000-08:00

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works!

140 Great Ways to Do Nothing

2008-02-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

Don't know how to do "nothing?" Here are 140 ideas for de-stressing, relaxing, enjoying, appreciating and otherwise living like you mean it.

1. Make a date with nature once every week.
2. Brew a pot of sun tea and invite your neighbor over for a taste.
3. Invest in a hammock.
4. Spend an hour in the sunshine to boost your brain's "happiness" chemistry.
5. Grow an aloe vera plant to heal sunburns next summer.
6. Get conversations started at your next party by serving Popsicles as hors d'oeuvres.
7. Let your kids pick out your next outfit.
8. Hire a kid in the neighborhood to run your errands this week.
9. Think of a change as a workout for your creativity.
10. Burn off extra "worry" adrenaline by exercising.
11. Laugh 100 times to work out your abdomen, neck, back and even your legs.
12. Rent a comedy and invite over that friend with the great laugh.
13. Next time you buy groceries, get yourself something from the toy aisle.
14. Buy a postcard and mail yourself a compliment.
15. Memorize a new joke and try it on a complete stranger.
16. Make a list of your blessings and mail it to yourself.
17. Once a week, substitute the nightly news with recordings of your favorite comedians.
18. Give the universe time to answer all your questions.
19. On your next vacation, put down the camera and try sketching.
20. Have a family contest to see who can spot the most birds on your street.
21. Watch the sunset with your kids tonight.
22. Make a wish on the first star to come out.
23. Breathe deeply to reduce stress.
24. Take a deep breath and hold it until you think of five people who make you laugh.
25. Take a hike and shoot a whole roll of film on nothing but bugs.
26. Treat your best friend to a gourmet picnic.
27. Spend an afternoon kite racing.
28. Send yourself flowers, with a card.
29. Pick a mantra just for vacations.
30. Using Crayons, draw a picture of your pet.
31. Do nothing for an hour to replenish your brain chemistry.
32. Watch reruns of I Love Lucy for an hour to replenish your brain chemistry.
33. Mail a present to someone you love.
34. Cleanse your digestive system by eating a mango, which is loaded with antioxidants.
35. Make and drink a mango smoothie.
36. Sing your favorite Broadway musical hit out loud.
37. Add a dance routine.
38. Get your feet wet.
39. Make time each week to infuse your body with a wild setting.
40. Count your down time as real time.
41. Make a list of your top ten priorities; cut it down to five.
42. Play jacks.
43. See if you can skip for a block without giggling.
44. Go barefoot.
45. Help to prevent heart attacks, depression, arthritis and ulcers with a spoonful of fish oil.
46. Take a 15-minute catnap to recharge yourself for three hours.
47. Make a date with your inner artist.
48. Spend some of your home improvement budget on original art.
49. Frame your favorite travel photos.
50. Ask your houseplants how they feel today.
51. Build a bird feeder.
52. Blow a whole roll of film on flowers.
53. Have an ice cream cone today.
54. Throw a Frisbee.
55. Take a tango lesson with your sweetheart.
56. Make a CD of the songs you sang along with in high school, and play it in traffic.
57. Practice yoga by lying very still to calm the mind.
58. Pay extra for home delivery.
59. Ask a kid if you can play, too.
60. Keep Crayons at work.
61. Learn which part of your body tells you when you reach your stress limit.
62. Two more months before you have to, rake leaves again.
63. Book yourself some hammock time.
64. Make a date with your feet to take your toes for a wiggle in the sand.
65. Make optimism your mind's default setting.
66. Spend the day complimenting each person you meet.
67. Talk yourself into living in the moment.
68. "Present time" is the only place the universe can ship your presents.
69. Spend ten minutes eating a pear.
70. Make a Coral Rita: 1 part lime juice, six parts good tequila, 2 parts cointreau; blend with ice.
71. Let a friend take you for a walk blindfolded.
72. Learn the art of arranging flowers.
73. Keep a foot massage kit near the couch.
74. Make a CD of silly songs and play it on your way to work.
75. Make a Shark Bite: 1 part dark rum, 2 parts orange juice, a splash of sour mix; blend with ice.
76. Start a sketchbook. If you can't draw, use crayons.
77. Throw a party to invent a new cocktail. Name it after yourself.
78. Spend the day in your cutest pajamas.
79. Eat your dinner out of order.
80. Read a poem out loud to a friend.
81. Hire a musician to serenade your sweetie at work.
82. Have a happy "childhood" by eating an ice cream sundae.
83. Don't skimp on the whipped cream.
84. Learn to throw a boomerang.
85. Make sure you have your own superhero costume.
86. Buy and wear a dramatic hat.
87. Replace should with could for a week.
88. Treat yourself to lunch with that friend who always compliments you.
89. Learn to play your favorite song on the guitar.
90. Make a fruit salad entirely out of fruit you've never had before.
91. Boost your immune system by laughing a lot.
92. Have a bad joke tournament with your friends.
93. Make a list of things you've accomplished that you never thought you could do.
94. Have a sunset picnic.
95. Imagine the universe as a waiter ready to take your order. Make sure to order dessert.
96. Strand yourself on a desert island by unplugging your phone for an hour.
97. Hold a garage sale as an excuse to meet your neighbors.
98. Spend the profits on a Slip 'N Slide. (Yes, you can still get them and they're only about $14.)
99. Play Frisbee.
100. Design a bouquet out of wildflowers.
101. Have a family art show.
102. Dance the Calypso.
103. Let the kids plan your next adventure day.
104. Try juggling, starting with rolled-up socks.
105. Throw a sunset dinner party in a park.
106. Give your kids disposable cameras and have them shoot a day in their life.
107. See who in your family can invent the most ridiculous laugh.
108. E-mail a list of compliments to your sweetheart.
109. Spend five minutes today sitting perfectly still - it's harder than it sounds.
110. Make mud pies.
111. Make your own field guide to the wildlife in your city.
112. Invent the perfect salad.
113. Write a poem.
114. Take a nap with your dog - on the floor.
115. Make time in the morning to visualize your day.
116. Go skinny-dipping.
117. Put a basket of toys in the break room at work.
118. Blow a whole roll of film on the house from your dog's point of view.
119. Treat yourself to a sunrise.
120. Give the universe time to get back to you when you ask for something.
121. E-mail yourself 10 things you admire about you. Schedule it for delivery a week from now.
122. Grow a houseplant from a seed.
123. Read the biography of your favorite person in history.
124. Throw an ice cream sundae-building party.
125. Write your "to do" list for the week in crayon.
126. Stimulate your chi by eating fish.
127. Enjoy the moments in-between.
128. Skip rocks.
129. Embrace your animal qualities.
130. Give anger an expiration date.
131. Reduce stress by throwing a water balloon.
132. Spend your loose change at a batting cage.
133. Rub warm sesame oil on your feet before bedtime to cure insomnia.
134. Describe your favorite shining moment to someone in the third person.
135. Ask your inner child to write out a "to do" list for the week.
136. Stage a breakfast feast that lasts till well past noon.
137. Relish the things you are still learning to master.
138. Think of your name as a verb, not a noun.
139. Fish without a hook and just meditate.
140. Schedule a mud bath.

27 Ways to Know If You've Found the Right Relationship for You

2008-02-07T01:33:00.000-08:00

By Stacy D. Phillips

There is nothing more glorious than falling in love! What a wonderful feeling it is when, after all that searching and seeking, you finally hook up with that compatible mate. But wait! How can you know that the person you think is right for you, is really right for you?

All you have to do is make sure that you ask the appropriate questions. At the right time and place, I suggest the two of you exchange answers to the following questions:

1. Kids or no kids
2. Smoking or no smoking
3. Drinking or no drinking? (Same for drugs)
4. Religious beliefs: Match? Blend? Clash
5. Who works? Who stays home (especially when the kids come along)
6. Who wants to live where?
7. Who controls the checkbook
8. What is his/her personal relationship with his/her family? Too distant? Too close Too weird? Appropriate to your standards?
9. How are holidays spent? At home? With family? Alone? Vacationing
10. Windows opened or closed? Heat/AC on or off
11. What side of the bed must you (he/she) sleep on
12. Where to spend vacations? Leisure time
13. Sick: Left alone or babied
14. Appropriate gift giving: birthdays? Yuletide holidays? Special occasions
15. Who does what around the house
16. What is acceptable hygiene
17. What are his/her hobbies, pastimes
18. Preferences: Music? Movie? Book favorites
19. Favorite foods
20. Pets or no pets? What kind
21. Decisions about the children: School, church, discipline, allowance, extra curricular activities, friends, and curfew?
22. Mealtimes: Early or late
23. Furniture: Vintage or contemporary
24. Sleeping habits: Four hours or eight?

More compatibility factors
If this list is not enough to help you determine whether or not your new love is right for you, try these:
1. How does your new love handle a crisis?
2. Behave in public places?
3. Treat your friends and family?

I also think you can tell a great deal about your new mate by the way he treats his mother and how she treats her father. Observing how a person regards that parent is key in establishing how he or she will treat you!
###

Stacy D. Phillips, who represents mostly celebrity and high-net worth individuals, is the managing partner at Phillips, Lerner, Lauzon & Jamra, LLP in Century City, California, and the author of "Divorce: It's All About Control -- How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars."

The Art of the Apology

2008-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

By Holly Weeks

Three sides to an apology
So how do you build a good apology? Apologies involve three elements: Acknowledgment of a fault or an offense, regret for it, and responsibility for the offense. You can put them all together, but a sincere, effective apology need not necessarily express all three; whether it should depends on the circumstances.

Because we don’t separate out acknowledgment, regret, and responsibility, we are often at sea, finding it unnecessarily painful to apologize when it would actually be reasonably easy to do so. Instead of getting caught up in blame, we can acknowledge another’s anger or dismay, or regret an offense, even when we don’t feel responsible for a wrong.

Do’s and don’ts

1 Find words that are clear and accurate—not provocative. A good apology should make the person wronged think, “Yes, she understands.” Often what the offended person wants is accountability and vigilance; he wants to know that it won’t happen again.

2 Don’t apologize for the wrong thing. People and institutions tend to apologize for what they find forgivable, as in the NSTAR example. If there is no clear relationship between what the offender is apologizing for and what the offended experienced as the original wrong, the apology actually exacerbates the problem. At best, the offender will seem blind to the problem; at worst, he will be perceived as intentionally distorting it.

That gives the offended two problems: The original offense, and the sense that a similar offense is likely to occur. The offended party thinks, “How can I accept this apology? It makes me appear to be complicit in allowing the problem to happen again.”

3 Consider the angle of approach. Decide whether it will be easier for you to apologize position to position or person to person. If you are angry with the person you’ve got to apologize to, it may be easier to frame the apology in terms of your respective jobs or ranks.

For example, while the senior executive remains angry at the junior vice president, he can’t offer a sincere personal apology. But he could apologize to her as a senior administrator to a more junior colleague, from his position to hers. Example: “We both work for a good company, and, as your colleague, I should try harder to see past our individual differences. I’m sorry I spoke harshly.”

Such an apology is likely to resonate favorably with both parties, even when anger between them remains.

In other circumstances, a person-to-person apology is easier to offer. For someone who equates an apology with loss of stature, for instance, the person-to-person apology can appear to be a magnanimous act that does not diminish her. Example: “I can’t agree with the stance you are taking, but I like you and want us to work well together. I’m sorry I spoke harshly.”

Choose the approach that is easier for you to do well. That will save you from making an apology that is so grudging that it fails.

4 Don’t think in terms of an “expression of regret.” Instead, your goal should be actually communicating your regret, that is, getting it across to the other person. Expression is one-sided—as though one were getting an apology off one’s chest. Communication, however, occurs between people, and an apology needs to work well for the other person to be effective. Take the focus off yourself, and keep it on your counterpart and the three elements of an apology—acknowledgment, regret, and responsibility. That protects you from sounding defensive, and your apology will be better received.

5 “I want to apologize” is not an apology. It’s no more an apology than “I want to lose weight” is a loss of weight. Do the work. Deliver a clear, direct apology; don’t hide behind vagueness, circumlocution, or clichés.

You may not be able to control whether your apology is accepted, but you can control its quality. So make every effort to control what you can. This will increase your chances of feeling good about what you have done with your apology—instead of feeling bad about having to do it.

Holly Weeks, based in Cambridge, Mass., is a consultant and writer specializing in communications issues.

Love and Loss

2008-02-03T23:46:00.000-08:00

George Elliot once said this:
"Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love."

And you'll never know what that means until you're in the exact situation. I've been there once or twice in my life and the reality of it hit me most when I lost my father. So I would like to dispense this advice:

Don't just love the people who are dear to you... let them know it before it's too late.
This month could be an instrument. Touch other peoples' lives. Celebrate love.

Happy Hearts Month!

~Merl

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen

2008-02-03T06:44:00.000-08:00

By Mary Schmich

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

The Lotus Touts

2008-02-03T06:43:00.001-08:00

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Does one really know what love is?

2008-01-29T20:22:00.001-08:00

We often mistake it for a crush, an infatuation or sometimes, even for the sheer joy in companionship. Sometimes, we think it's a feeling that we have when our hearts continue throbbing hard when we see that special person. Or when our knees start to shake and begin to weaken. But can anyone really define love? I don't think so, not even the ones who think they have felt it, or those who are feeling it, or those who hope they will feel it. Not even my philosophy teacher. Because love is not something that you define... it's a decision.

When you feel that you love one person, how can you tell that he or she won't feel the same way for the next person who comes along? Love is not a feeling, it's a decision. 'Coz, when it's a feeling, it is something that floats in the air, something you cannot touch or dare to comprehend. Love, when it's a decision, makes it solid, makes it a commitment, makes it more lasting and more real. You can feel that you can be in love 20 million times in a day, but when you decide to be in love, you can only decide to be in love with one person once in your lifetime. You commit and you hold on to that decision. And when you turn your back on that decision, it means you were never in love in the first place.

Love should never fade. Because when it does, it means it's just an emotion. Love will never fade because a decision, once done, is something you stand up for and fight for-no matter what. What does "I love you" mean? Some people find it easy to say the words but what really matter is being ready to stand up for it when you say those words. Are you ready to face all the consequences after saying those magical words?

If you can say "I love you" long after all the tough times, all the good times and after all the words that come hurting you, then the meaning of those words becomes real. Believe in those words... others are afraid to say them, but there will come a time when one won't be afraid of those wordscoming out of one's mouth. It's just a matter of when will you be strong enough to fight for love. And you can say the words "no matter what". Saying "I love you" is a major decision in one's life.

Those words should be sacred, should be kept in your heart until you are ready to commit, to fight for that feeling and to stand by those words. Is love a product of destiny? No, I believe there's no such thing as destiny. Thus, if love is a product of destiny, then you choose to love, you decide to love. Your destiny is the path that you choose to take. <<adopted>>

Learning Love

2008-01-29T20:15:00.002-08:00

"Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task.
It runs counter to our self-centered nature.
That is why we are given a lifetime to learn it...
Nevertheless, we need to learn it..."

Natural Highs

2008-01-29T20:15:00.001-08:00

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they love you.

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you look good.

23. Laughing at an inside joke.

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38 Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the blank expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

When you love...

2008-01-29T20:14:00.000-08:00

When you love, never stick only to what your heart feels...

Remember that sometimes, using your brain is a necessity...

Next, never use your eyes to cry for a guy who fooled you.

Instead, use it to search for the right one...

Lastly, don’t be scared of breaking up....

Keeping a relationship with an evil guy is much scary...

Take note:

Love the one who will fight for you and bravely face each and every consequence...

Someone whom you can call a MAN rather than a BOY!

You need not tell him that, though...

<< a repost >>

Real Love Means Patience

2008-01-29T20:12:00.003-08:00

"... In God's time, we'll fall in love for the right reasons and to the right person. When that time comes, love will be worth the tears and the long wait. Then we will forget we cried and be thankful we waited..."

Sail On!

2008-01-29T20:12:00.001-08:00

You cannot discover new oceans,
unless you have the courage
to lose sight of the shore...

Because only those who risk
can tell how far they can go.

As we sail through life,
don't avoid storms and rough waters.

Just let them pass.

Sail on.

Because calm seas,
never make skillful sailors.

Enjoy sailing life!

Life with No Regrets

2008-01-29T20:05:00.001-08:00

Never regret the choices you make. Just believe in yourself and have faith. Life is not perfect; it's a blend of joy and sorrow.

Wherever life leads you, it always has a purpose.

Do what makes you happy. Life is not based on the money you earn and the success you achieved. It's all about being happy with who you are, who you're with, who you've got, who you love and who makes your life worth living!

So cheer up and get a life!

Why Friends are More Important

2008-01-29T20:01:00.001-08:00

A friend's love is more than a lover.
A lover may leave, but a friend will stay.
A lover could demand, but a friend would help.
A friend could love you more than a lover could do.

You can search for a lover here and there, but you can't find an instant friend.
So treasure the friends you have coz they are more important.

Perspective Reborn

2008-01-29T19:57:00.001-08:00

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul...
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security...
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises...

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrows ground
is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers...

And you learn that you really are strong and you really do have worth.

~~ a repost ~~

Making and Keeping Friends

2008-01-29T19:56:00.001-08:00

Without friends, you are lost. With friends, you can easily laugh and enjoy each other’s company. You feel safer and supported. You can share your ideas and feelings. And of course, there is respect for each other.

A real friend is a twin soul. With friends, you can laugh your heart out, say crazy things, make funny faces, and curse without limits. You feel comfortable, free and jovial around them.

With friends, you can also cry your soul out, lament on your failures, mend your broken heart and grieve forever. Real friends cannot afford to see you sulking alone.

Making new friends is not hard, keeping them is harder. The longer you preserve friendship, the more genuine and real it becomes. Collect friends without giving up on the old ones. Value those who say “Hi and see you later!” than those who say “Hello and goodbye.” Start building a lasting friendship – one that can stand the test of time.

Make new friends now… and be one.

How to Stay Young (George Carlin)

2008-01-29T19:50:00.001-08:00

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

All About Smiles

2008-01-29T19:49:00.002-08:00

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. ~Author Unknown

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. ~W.C. Fields

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. ~Jim Beggs

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. ~Charles Gordy

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain, Following the Equator

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home. ~Author Unknown

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. ~Andy Rooney

If you smile at someone, they might smile back. ~Author Unknown

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. ~Author Unknown

Everyone smiles in the same language. ~Author Unknown

If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine. ~Author Unknown

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. ~George Eliot

She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket. ~Raymond Chandler

A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag and pinned it there. ~Loma Chandler

A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip

If you don't start out the day with a smile, it's not too late to start practicing for tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

Smiling is my favorite exercise. ~Author Unknown

Wear a smile - one size fits all. ~Author Unknown

No matter how grouchy you're feeling,
You'll find the smile more or less healing.
It grows in a wreath
All around the front teeth -
Thus preserving the face from congealing.
~Anthony Euwer

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day. ~Author Unknown

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and life's worthwhile. ~Author Unknown

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles. ~Washington Irving

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. ~Charles Reade

A smile is the universal welcome. ~Max Eastman

Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to. ~Author Unknown

You're never fully dressed without a smile. ~Martin Charnin

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. ~Author Unknown

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. ~Janet Lane

All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile. ~Chris Hart

If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile. ~Author Unknown

Peace begins with a smile. ~Mother Teresa

A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it. ~Author Unknown

A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. ~Author Unknown

It takes a lot of work from the face to let out a smile, but just think what good smiling can bring to the most important muscle of the body... the heart. ~Author Unknown

Tired of Being Tough?

2008-01-29T19:49:00.001-08:00

Are you bored? Are you tired of being the tough guy? Have you taken many things in your life for granted? By looking at the world a little differently, you just might realize how much you have to be thankful for. Here's how to stop and smell the roses.

#1. Look around and pay attention to the people around you. You will find that everybody has something to worry or complain about, not just you. It's easy to focus on those who seem to have it all, but you never know what's going on inside. They might look happy, but they might be miserable as well. Don't look at others and think "I should have it like they do." Look at those who aren't as fortunate as you are and count your blessings.

#2. Practice acceptance. Stop dwelling on how things should be, what could've been, and what you don't have. Recognize what you do have--whether you like it or not, it's yours to keep or to change. Accepting your lot in life is not about resigning yourself to unhappiness. It's about not wasting time lamenting or denying your problems. Take them for what they are and...

#3. Become a problem solver. Use your lemons to make lemonade. Get in the habit of asking yourself how you can turn the negative into a positive. The most successful people in life, and those who have the most to be grateful for, are also those who've endured tremendous trials and managed to persevere and turn it all around.

#4. Learn to see hardship as a chance to develop character. Imagine yourself looking back ten years from now and recounting your difficult circumstances, and being proud of how you handled it and worked through it.

#5. Focus on what you can control. Stop concentrating on your situation, and on conditions and incidents that happened to you and that you have no control over. Instead, shift your focus on what you can control: your response, and your behavior.

#6. Take joy in the small things. Blow bubbles with your kids. Play with a puppy. Get lost in the park. Goof off and have a good laugh. Life's treasures are the small pleasures. Give thanks for each small gift you receive!

I hope this will inspire you too...

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Thankful

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

2008-01-29T19:47:00.000-08:00

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

15. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

Life is too short

2008-01-29T19:43:00.002-08:00

Life is too short.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

Laugh when you can... Apologize when you should... And let go of what you can't change.

Love deeply and forgive quickly.

Take chances, give everything and have no regrets.. Life's too short to be unhappy. You have to take good with the bad...

Smile when you're sad...

Love what you got.. and always remember what you had...

Always forgive, never forget..

Learn from your mistakes... but never regret...

Understanding Love

2008-01-29T19:43:00.001-08:00

Love isn't just about the words, but the meaning behind it...

It's not just "you can trust me" but "I'll never make you doubt"...

Not just "don't do this" but "let me do it for you"

Not just "take care" but "let me hold your hand"

Not just "don't go there" but "let me go with you"

Not just "I'm sorry" but "I'l never hurt you again"

Not just "I'm here" but "I'll never leave"

Not just "don't worry" but "I'l never give you a reason to worry"

Not just "I'll try my best" but "I'll do whatever it takes"

Not just "I Love You..." but "Life has no meaning without you"...

What Makes the Heart Sing?

2008-01-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

By Anita S. Meily, Philippine Panorama Vol. 34, No. 13

Everyone wants to be happy. However, happiness can be very elusive because sometimes we look for it in the wrong places. Some people get married to be happy and when they’re not, they blame their mate. One who is not a happy person to begin with cannot find it in marriage either.

Wealth? Some people think: If only I can be rich, I surely be happy. Little do they know that sometimes wealth only causes more problems: envy, family squabbles, or less time with the family.

Youth? Researches claim that older people are more consistently satisfied with their lives than the young. Perhaps, there is less confusion about life and less pressure to achieve.

So what makes the heart sing? Here are some pointers:

Rutt Veenhoven, professor of happiness studies at Erasmus University in Rotterdam, claims that people between the ages of 30 to 50 are less happy than other groups perhaps because in midlife, they have “less freedom and more responsibilities” in terms of kids, jobs and mortgages. People are most happiest when their job allows them a certain amount of freedom and decision-making power.

Veenhoven concludes: “Happiness is how much you like the life you are living.” Happiness is not a static stage. Researchers claim that the cheeriest people feel blue at times, and even the bluest ones have their moments of joy.

What are the things that make one happy? First of all, religious faith lifts the spirit. How can one not feel happy when one knows there is a God who loves you even more than you love yourself? Another factor is friends. Studies conducted at the University of Illinois showed that “the most salient characteristics shared by the 10 percent of students with the highest levels of happiness and the fewest signs of depression were their strong ties to friends and family.

Sonja Lynbomirsky, psychologist from the University of California has the following suggestions on how to lift your level of happiness:

Count your blessings. Too often we take all the good things in life for granted until we lose them: our health, our spouse, our children, etc. A researcher suggests jotting down in a “gratitude journal” once a week, three to five things you are thankful for.
Practice acts of kindness. Being kind to people gives you positive vibes, especially when you get smiles and “thank you.”
Savor life’s joys. Sometimes, we are so busy making money or even doing apostolic work that we don’t take time to smell the roses or watch the sunset.
Thank a mentor. Take time to express your gratitude to someone who guided or is still guiding you through life’s crossroads: a parent, grandparent, teacher, friend, spiritual director, etc.
Learn to forgive. Inability to forgive is pride, and hurts one more than the one who wronged you.
Invest time and energy in family and friends. As is often said, at your deathbed, you will not regret the loss of a deal, or less time spent at the office. What you will regret is the time you might have spent with your family and friends.
Take care of your body. Get enough sleep, exercise and take care of your diet. Smile and laugh your way through life. They say 20 seconds of hearty laughter is equivalent to 15 minutes of aerobics.
Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships. A good relationship with the Lord will help you cope with whatever life deals you. Another way is to go out and help the less fortunate. “An effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves,” according to Lydia M. Child.

In the Time Magazine issue, Alan Robles writes that it doesn’t take much to make Filipinos happy. Despite poverty, corruption, inequality, and everything else, Filipinos are happy because for us, “happiness isn’t material – it’s social.” We are happiest when we are in a group. Above all else, it is our strong faith in God that keeps us happy. Therein lies our salvation as a people.

--end--

Mending a Broken Heart

2008-01-29T19:39:00.001-08:00

Feeling broken hearted is just about the worst pain in the world. It can also seem endless - luckily it isn't.

So, you're nursing a broken heart? What you have to remember is that you can get through it. Ask around and you'll find that loads of people you know have had their hearts broken. Most of them are OK now. And one day you'll be OK too. Better than that you'll be fine. But right now, it's hard to believe that.

First love

Getting over your first love is incredibly difficult. This is because we all think our first, real, wonderful, romantic love will last forever. Funnily enough, we don't look at our friends and their early relationships and think that they will last forever. And we know statistically that most people do not fall in love at 17 or thereabouts and stay with that person for life. But knowing these things does not seem to stop us from feeling that our particular first love is golden and timeless and unlike any other. So when it ends it's shattering.

The only comfort is that this romance has shown you how much love you have to give. And people with love to give are attractive individuals that others are drawn to. One day, you'll look back at your first love and realise that it was a great dress rehearsal for subsequent relationships. But you're unlikely to feel that right now.

Treat yourself gently

You can feel so 'knocked' after your heart is broken that you feel seriously ill, or as if you've been in a car crash. So, treat yourself as if you are recovering from a bad illness or a road traffic accident. Let other people care for you, too. Get as much sleep as possible. Eat lovely foods. Convalesce. And allow yourself to cry - even if you're a bloke. It's horrible at the time, but you'll feel better afterwards. All in all, take life gently - you've had a shock, and your mind and body need time to get over it.

Pep up your social life

Your friends will help you get over it. Soon, they'll be asking you to come out in a group to the cinema or the pub or whatever. At first you won't be in the mood, but soon you'll realize that there are some bonuses to being single again. In fact, you'll find that this is a good time to do stuff that you didn't do with your ex. So now you can go to the sorts of films that you like, or you can listen to your type of music, or go on your type of holiday.

Look back to look forwards

Once you're over the stage of feeling shocked and ill, try to look back at your relationship as it really was, not through the rose-tinted spectacles you've worn for so long.

Write a list of the things that you don't miss about your ex. At first you'll be thinking that you loved everything about this person, but you didn't. What about those awful jokes, the rows, how you always had to make the arrangements if anything was to get done, the times when your ex put you down or made you feel stupid or how they didn't like your best mate? There are always elements to our past loves that weren't right, and this is a good time to focus on them.

Starting again

Sometimes when our hearts are broken we want to find someone new to love us as soon as possible. This is natural - but unwise. Your best bet is to embrace your single life wholeheartedly for six months or so. Obviously you may end up having sex with other people - but do make sure it's safe sex. However, your emotions are not going to settle for quite a while, so have fun, but don't go looking for anything else serious until you're happy without your ex. You'll know you're getting over your heartache when you can get through a whole day without thinking about them.

Christine Webber is a relationships advisor and the author of How To Mend A Broken Heart (Hodder and Stoughton, £7.99).

On Being Single

2008-01-29T19:35:00.000-08:00

BEING WITH SOMEBODY is GOOD but BEING SINGLE...

just might be BETTER!

SINGLE means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone. Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.

SINGLE means learning to live by yourself. However, that is no more difficult than learning to live with somebody else.

Single means freedom. You are free to spend time with your friends, meet new exciting people or work late on an interesting project,to spend the day in beach with a good book or simply with a person who has read one.

SINGLE means learning not to need that "someone" to make your life meaningful but learning to live with that someone because you want to be with him/her.

SINGLE means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder if being in a relationship is better. Ironically, yet quite happily single is feeling good about being in control of your life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.

SINGLE is realizing that being in a relationship is not necessarily better, it is merely different.

SINGLE means that there could be something wonderful around the corner and you can take advantage of it.

SINGLE means you are free to love again.

Take Time to Count Your Blessings

2008-01-29T19:34:00.000-08:00

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness..........you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation.......you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace....... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy people.

If your parents are still alive and still married........you are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful.....you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you prayed yesterday and today........you are in the minority because you believe God does hear and answer prayers.

If you can read now, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

< a repost >

Dance Like No One's Watching

2008-01-29T19:30:00.001-08:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Here is a quote that comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin real life."

But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there no way to happiness, happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have.

And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time ... and remember that time waits for no one. So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you get married, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, summer, fall, or winter, until your song comes on, to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Thought for the day:

"Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching."

... and from the sermon of Worshipping Warrior...

"Happiness is based on happenings...
JOY is a fruit of the SPIRIT."

~ a repost ~